Time for some good news

Back from NY and posting from my brand new laptop! My shiny new toy comes coutesy of my research grant, which exprired in March. Apparently I had a bunch of money that needed to be spent... they didn't need to tell me twice!

I came home on Wednesday to find, nestled in the midst of an inbox full of student questions and pleas for attention, an email asking me to teach a course here at UW next year! So far, it's only one course (Physiological psychology), next Winter. That means I need to find something else to teach in the fall, then hopefully spring, but it's a start! A job offer I hadn't even applied for! I am so thrilled about this!

I haven't talked to my advisor about this, but apparently she recommended me for it. Knowing that makes it easier to think about the discussion I need to have with her, about my future plans.

A year ago, I was in what I would best describe as a state of grief. I was looking at a fairly miserable run in grad school - having produced, at best mediocre, but in reality pretty weak research. The thought of a career TRYING to continue in this vein was utterly depressing. It was what I had planned to do all along, but I was beginning to come to terms with the fact that I am not great at research, and thus not happy doing it. Who is really happy doing anything they're not good at?? Anyway... things seem pretty bleak when you're faced with the fact that your plans are just not going to pan out. So, in an effort to find something I could at least do to make some money, I took a class on teaching. Not how to teach, but the ins and outs of teaching at the college level. A lot of it was focused on why people might choose to teach (rather than the typical being forced to teach in order to climb the academic ladder). The class was great, and opened my eyes to a lot of the things I value about academics. That lead to me requesting a teaching assistantship in the fall, when I was lucky enough to be assigned to TA for a fabulous teacher who really fostered my interest and teaching skills. That, in turn, lead to me requesting another TAship, which resulted in instructing a lab on my own, which I've done for two quarters now, and will do again over the summer. It's so fantastic... I just love teaching. I get so much out of it, and truly love pouring myself into it. I love my students - every quarter I develop such a deep affection for each one of them. It's strange - I have the usual mix of over-achievers, slackers and average students, but I've been able to get to know all of them, and find something great about each one. That sounds so sappy and disingenuous, I know. But it's really true. I have found what I really want to do.

Ideally, I'll wind up with a full time job at a small liberal arts college. That would be awesome. But for now, I've gotten myself a lectureship, and it's somewhere to start. In the midst of this totally crappy month, where I've just been too tired to contemplate my next move, this happy development has sprouted.

I feel like I'm being given my start on a future that I'm really looking forward to.