Time for some good news

Back from NY and posting from my brand new laptop! My shiny new toy comes coutesy of my research grant, which exprired in March. Apparently I had a bunch of money that needed to be spent... they didn't need to tell me twice!

I came home on Wednesday to find, nestled in the midst of an inbox full of student questions and pleas for attention, an email asking me to teach a course here at UW next year! So far, it's only one course (Physiological psychology), next Winter. That means I need to find something else to teach in the fall, then hopefully spring, but it's a start! A job offer I hadn't even applied for! I am so thrilled about this!

I haven't talked to my advisor about this, but apparently she recommended me for it. Knowing that makes it easier to think about the discussion I need to have with her, about my future plans.

A year ago, I was in what I would best describe as a state of grief. I was looking at a fairly miserable run in grad school - having produced, at best mediocre, but in reality pretty weak research. The thought of a career TRYING to continue in this vein was utterly depressing. It was what I had planned to do all along, but I was beginning to come to terms with the fact that I am not great at research, and thus not happy doing it. Who is really happy doing anything they're not good at?? Anyway... things seem pretty bleak when you're faced with the fact that your plans are just not going to pan out. So, in an effort to find something I could at least do to make some money, I took a class on teaching. Not how to teach, but the ins and outs of teaching at the college level. A lot of it was focused on why people might choose to teach (rather than the typical being forced to teach in order to climb the academic ladder). The class was great, and opened my eyes to a lot of the things I value about academics. That lead to me requesting a teaching assistantship in the fall, when I was lucky enough to be assigned to TA for a fabulous teacher who really fostered my interest and teaching skills. That, in turn, lead to me requesting another TAship, which resulted in instructing a lab on my own, which I've done for two quarters now, and will do again over the summer. It's so fantastic... I just love teaching. I get so much out of it, and truly love pouring myself into it. I love my students - every quarter I develop such a deep affection for each one of them. It's strange - I have the usual mix of over-achievers, slackers and average students, but I've been able to get to know all of them, and find something great about each one. That sounds so sappy and disingenuous, I know. But it's really true. I have found what I really want to do.

Ideally, I'll wind up with a full time job at a small liberal arts college. That would be awesome. But for now, I've gotten myself a lectureship, and it's somewhere to start. In the midst of this totally crappy month, where I've just been too tired to contemplate my next move, this happy development has sprouted.

I feel like I'm being given my start on a future that I'm really looking forward to.

Goodbye Aunt Eleanor

Some people have $700 a week habits. Shopping compulsions, fine dining, blow...

Me, I fly to upstate New York every week to attend funerals.

Aunt Eleanor passed away yesterday. I thought I wasn't ready for it. I didn't want her to go. She wanted to live to see 100, and she was so close. I wanted to see her reach 100. But now that she's passed, it's a relief. It's good to know that she's no longer in pain.

I hate to think of the suffering she endured. Instead, I'll focus on the happier times. Here she is last summer, enjoying some cake.



She was the dearest lady, and I will miss her. Be at peace Aunt Eleanor.

A post from the calm

Death has crept into my dreams this week. The normally sweet respite of sleep has turned on me, and my dreams are filled with sadness and suffering. It's been an emotional week, to say the least.

A week ago right now, we were on a flight to NY for H's grandpa's funeral. Lyle passed away last Wednesday, after a long collection of illnesses.

We returned Sunday night and awoke Monday to the news that my mom's kindergarten classroom had been destroyed in an arson fire overnight. -Story and pictures here.- (Coincedentally, this occurred on the 10 year anniversary of my grandma's passing.) As of now, my mom is doing much better, though she was in quite a state of shock and grief earlier in the week. The woman is amazingly resilient... by Tuesday she was back at school, sorting through the few remaining papers, and preparing for the return of students next Monday, following spring break. She's even finding blessings in this... the records that she dearly loved but didn't know what to do with when she retires in June all melted - problem solved. She was hoping for a color printer for her class, and now she can get one. No one was hurt. Many silver linings. I'm just glad she's doing ok.

Next in the inbox on Monday was news that my dear aunt Eleanor is suffering greatly with intractable jaw cancer. As she is 94, there is not much that the doctors can do for her, and she is in awful pain. Her condition is bringing so much sadness to the family - a family who is unaccustomed to expressing sadness. It's a difficult time, and hard to know what to hope for.

All of this has made me restless this week, and it's been hard to concentrate on much. I've been able to sit and spin for a while to calm my nerves and zone out.
Here are some recent results:
This is 2-ply yarn, made from the merino top I dyed a few weeks ago.

Happiness is yarn

Here is some of the roving that I dyed on Saturday.
And here it is on the bobbin. I'm so happy with it - the fiber is spinning up nicely, and the colors are coming out great. I can't believe I'm actually happy with my first attempt at dyeing my own yarn. It really is awesome!

The problem with this, however, is that I'm constantly thinking about colorways that I want to dye, and yarn I want to spin and projects I'd like to make. I'm not thinking about the dissertation I should be working on, or the resumes I should be sending out. I just want to make yarn! Is this the beginning of something great, or the first moments of my descent into madness?

P.S. I forgot to say... After washing out the second batch of dyed fiber the other day, I tried the Twisted Sisters tip about drying the wool in the washer on the spin cycle (with the water shut off). It works fabulously! The wool was almost entirely dry after a spin in the machine. Woot!

Comings and goings

We travelled to Gearhart, on the Oregon shore, last weekend to visit Sarah and Blake and their pups, Maisy and Rufus.
We had a fantastic time - it was very low key and relaxing, with plenty of good pup-lovin' and playtime, excellent cheese, viewing adventures, yarn-spinning and superb conversation. Thank you Sarah and Blake!

I've been keeping myself occupied with some yarn and fiber dyeing. I dyed some sock yarn with kool-aid over the past few weeks.


And here is some of the fiber I just dyed. This was my first attempt at acid dyeing. It turned out much better than I'd dared to hope. Now I can't wait to spin it, ply it, and make some socks!

I've been stymied in my attempts to be as crafty as I'd like lately by the whole school thing. (Still!) The writing, she progresses. *sigh* And I'm now 2 weeks into the spring quarter with a new crop of studentlies. They're a good group - so far they've been pretty tame and quiet. Not much new to report, on the whole of things.

H's grandpa has not been doing well. He's had an assortment of health troubles that have kept him in the hospital for the better part of a month now. It's very hard on the family, and we're sort of at a loss as to what to do. It does look like there will be a quick trip to NY in the near future. *sigh*